I have gone back and forth trying to decide if I should put this up here....but the "C" word is kind of out the bag now.... :O) This is a forum that I use for sharing the happenings in my life....good-bad-and ugly....and well....this one isn't to pretty but I am confident that by sharing and being transparent someone will be inspired to live life as if it was their last, or someone may hear someextra encouragement that may be fighting a fight of their own whether it is cancer or some other personal struggle. The first time I was diagnosed with cancer (2003) my natural response was to crawl up into a hole...but I realized that wasn't the best way to handle it. People want to help, they want to show they care, they want to stay informed and God wants it that way. Sometimes (although it SUCKS big time) God uses situations like this to remind us that life was meant to do together....so here goes....the good, the bad, the ugly, the hillarious...(yes there is hillarious through this journey just ask Becca Smith and Oscar Smith they were there every step of the way for the first one and there are some pretty funny stories)!
I have Follicular Lymphoma Grade 3. A very unusual and aggressive cancer. You know me…can’t do anything simple. Go big or go home! :O) The one good thing about this type of cancer is that it typically responds very well to the chemotherapy. It is the BIG GUNS of chemo with a nick name of “the red devil” if that tells you anything. But…this too shall pass! It will just kind of suck while I am going through it. In the grand scheme of things…if I am going to have to have cancer again I would rather have one that responds well to chemo then one that does not. :O)
This coming week I will have a bone marrow biopsy, a port placement, 2 CT Scans and an Echocardiogram. Those tests will show us if the cancer has spread and if it has how far. Typically with a grade 3 it is not in just one spot. :O( (Insert lots of prayers here) The Echocardiogram will show if my heart is strong enough to take the chemotherapy that I will need. I already had to take this same drug when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and patients can only have a certain amount through their life time because it is very damaging to the heart. I have of course reached the max that I am supposed to take…but my doctors and the tumor board will find a way around it. I am confident of that.
After the tests this week we will find out the staging of the cancer and that is determined on if it has spread or not and if it has how far it may have spread. I have to get into chemo right away (big FAT BUMMER….again more prayers)….most likely chemo infusions will start on Monday April 2. I will have chemo infusions once every three weeks for 6-8 cycles. That is all dependent on how my body handles the chemo and how the cancer reacts. After that, if the cancer has not spread to other sites in my body I will have to do radiation.
So….yes my summer plans for the beach are messed up as well as my trip to the family reunion…but on the bright side…I won’t have to shave my legs for a while.
There is a specific passage that seems to be sticking with me throughout this and it is:
Psalms 62:1-2 Considering how God has brought us through anxious times before gives us the confidence to trust in His continued protection. We wait expectantly for His next move.
I am not going to lie to you….I have been down this cancer journey before (2003) and it sucked! It sucked big time…but it sucks less with friends and prayers and love all around you. I am confident that God will show up in a big way and shine through all of this once again. Remind me of that when I am having a really bad day and parked in the pity camp…ok? Thanks for surrounding me and my family with love, understanding, support and friendship. Life wasn’t meant to do alone and I appreciate each of you!
